


BBF (Brother's Best Friend)

by mysteryninja98



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: DameRey, F/M, One-Shot, age gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 15:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteryninja98/pseuds/mysteryninja98
Summary: The one where Poe needs to figure out who's standards he's holding himself to.OrThe one where Rey knows who she is and what she wants, which happens to be her brother's best friend.





	BBF (Brother's Best Friend)

Rey didn’t know when the infatuation started. I mean, he was her older, _much older_ , brother’s best friend, he’d been around for her entire life.

When she was seven and he was 15, he started letting her help him and Han work on the old cars and bikes he kept in their empty barn that he sold for college money. He was always so patient with her when she was still learning all the tool names and didn’t mind when a project took a little bit longer because he let her tiny frame attempt time and again to unscrew stuck bolts or paint her name on the body before he repainted over it. At that point, he was still more like her big brother, and she admired every step he took.

When she was 11 and she finally finished her first project on her own, he swept her up in a hug that made her heart beat faster and a blush rise in her cheeks. He helped her sell it for a good price, and was really confused when she thanked him bashfully and scurried off long before she usually left the garage.

When she was 15, she was at her friend’s party, and when all the other girls started gossiping about their crushes, like Danny from 3rd period or Jake from the school across town, she sat quiet in the circle, slightly embarrassed that the first name that popped into her head was Poe’s. And when the other’s asked her about it, she blurted out the name of her best friend Finn and had to endure the furtive glances they shot her way when she hung out with him all the rest of the school year until she could convince them that she had lost romantic interest. Finn still laughed at her for it.

When she was 18, Poe showed up at her high school graduation with a girl on his arm and Rey avoided him after a quick hug during reception so that he wouldn’t pick up on her jealousy. He hunted her down after her graduation party and cornered her in the old barn, asking what was wrong, asking if he had done something wrong, and she had sputtered with her words until she was near tears trying not to tell him the truth. Ben stuck his head around the door in the nick of time, right before the dam behind her eyes threatened to burst, and called her in to sort out the gifts her family and friends had given her. Poe gave her a job at the garage he ran full time, saying that he needed a partner he could rely on, and she forgot all feelings except jubilation as she threw herself into his embrace, having never wanted anything else.

Ben came into her room that night and sat on the edge of her bed.

“You know Jess is just a close friend from when we were in college. Poe helped her out of an abusive relationship and he brought her because he knew Mom and Dad could help her more than he can anymore.”

Rey’s mouth got dry and her eyes wide. “I don’t know why you’d tell me that. I mean, you guys have mentioned her when you came home sometimes, but I didn’t really-“

“Rey, you’re a great liar, but I taught you how to lie. I know the tricks. I also know that my little sister has been in love with my best friend since she could walk,” he smirked, his usually serious eyes twinkling with amusement. “But don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

Rey could feel her face heat up. “I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ben. I mean I’m eight years younger than you guys, it would be stupid for me to like someone that much older than me. He’s like another, nicer brother, nothing else.”

Ben grinned, getting up to face the door. “Mom and Dad are 10 years apart. And you never stare at me like you do Poe. Like I said, though, I won’t tell him.”

Rey bit her lip, knowing that Ben knew he was right.

“Thanks, Ben.”

He turned and gave her a soft smile. “You’re welcome, kid. Sweet dreams.”

When she was 21, he took her out for drinks on her birthday with her family, Finn, and Jess, with whom she’d become good friends with. He invited her to stay the night in his apartment since she had left her car in his parking lot because it was closer to the shop than hers and they had left right after they closed. He accidentally walked into the guest room as she was drunkenly struggling out of her blouse, having pulled it halfway over her head and not realizing she hadn’t undone the button on the back. He blushed red as a rose and turned to leave as soon as he saw what was happening before Rey let out a defeated huff and turned towards him, making a pathetic little sound that made him stop, take a deep breath and walk slowly over to her. He gently untangled her arms and undid the button, accidently softly brushing over the exposed skin of her back. He left before she had the shirt over her head, so that she wouldn’t see his face.

When she was 22, she got tired of how they had been acting around each other ever since her 21st birthday, the skirting tensions, the awkward silences that hadn’t been there before, the way he rushed to get out of a room where it was only the two of them. They were closing up shop and the front desk worker locked the register before heading out the front door, Poe making his way right after him, when Rey wrapped her arm around his wrist and tugged him back.

The silence was heavy in the room, and Poe stared at his wrist, where she was still holding him.

“What’s up Rey?” he asked, voice slightly off.

“What’s wrong?”

“What are you talking about?” As good of a liar as she was, Poe was the exact opposite, not even able to lie to her about where he hid her Christmas gifts. Rey gave a huff of breath at the question.

“We’re wrong. Us. It’s been different since last year on my birthday, and I want to know why,” Rey said firmly, no longer the embarrassed teenager she had been in her youth. She knew who she was, she knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to face challenges head on. “Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? I don’t exactly remember the night,” she said with a wry smile.

Poe cleared his throat and scuffed the front of his shoe on the ground, not meeting her eyes.

“Poe? What happened?”

He mumbled a response that she didn’t catch, but if the blush in his cheeks told her anything, it was embarrassing, whether for her or him, she couldn’t be sure.

“Poe. Before last year you had no qualms about flirting with me every chance you got. If you aren’t going to tell me, I can only assume that I flirted way too hard back or we slept together or you saw me naked.”

His blush deepened, and when he finally looked up, she noticed that while his eyes were darker than usual, they were filled with shame and guilt and helplessness.

“Is that what happened?” Rey asked carefully, unused to this shy, kicked-puppy side of Poe.

“I-I walked in and saw you with your shirt off,” he admitted with a mumble.

Rey’s eyebrows furrowed and she stared at Poe for what felt like an eternity.

“That’s why you’ve been acting as if I’m a time bomb. You’ve been subtly avoiding me for _a year_ because you saw me with my shirt off? Are you kidding me?” Her voice got higher as it got more incredulous, her eyes narrowing dangerously at her.

Poe’s ears were now burning along with his face.

“Poe, you do realize that I had a bra on that night, right? And that a bra is no different than a bikini top, which you’ve seen me wear countless times since my parents let me wear them?”

“But it was different,” he insisted.

“How?” Rey was very confused by this point, and she really wanted to know his reasoning behind his actions.

Poe looked like he was going to say something, but seemed to chicken out at the last moment, settling instead with, “Nothing, never mind. Just forget I said that.” He made a move to move past Rey, but Rey wasn’t about to let him leave the garage until she had answers. She side-stepped to intersect him and he took a step back.

“Rey, let me past. I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well too bad, flyboy. Because it involves me and I intend to find out. Don’t forget that I’ve known you my entire life. I know what makes you tick, and I know how to get answers out of you.” Rey crossed her arms, looking him dead in the eye and twitching her eyebrow up in a challenge. His gaze flickered from the floor to her to the door and then back to her.

“I want to know why you’re avoiding me, and don’t tell me it was because you saw me with my shirt off, because you and I both know that’d be the suckiest reason in the world. Why are you so embarrassed by me?”

“I’m not embarrassed by you, Rey.”

“Then why is it you can’t talk to me like you used to? Why is it you can’t look at me? Why is it you can’t stand to be in the same room as – oh.”

Rey went from growing anger to surprise in an instant. She blinked a couple of times, trying to process the answer she had found.

Poe looked at her steadily now, his always-expressive eyes flashing with disgust, not for her, but for himself.

“Now you see why?”

“No,” Rey said, recovering from her shock.

Poe’s head jerked up at her words.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I mean I still don’t understand, flyboy. Normal people don’t just randomly start avoiding their friends who are also their business partner and coworker because they got turned on once from an accidental shirtless show.”

Poe sighed. “I didn’t get turned on – stop looking at me like that – ok, fine, I was turned on,” he spat, turning away from her analytical gaze, “I was and then I thought it was just the drinks and the atmosphere but then I kept having feelings for you, feelings that weren’t lust, after that. I feel awful, and I just want to stop feeling like that but you make it so damn hard, Rey. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Rey’s voice was soft. “Why do you want to get rid of them? Am I – am I not enough?”

Poe whirled around, disbelief coloring his face. “What? No, Rey, didn’t you hear a word of what I just said? You’re enough, you’re more than enough, and that’s why I feel so awful.”

“Why do you feel so awful?” Rey asked, not seeing the problem in the situation that was making her heart beat fast.

“Rey – Rey, don’t you see why me liking you is wrong?” Rey shook her head, looking in his eyes, trying to find an answer. “Rey, I’m 30 years old. You’re 22. That’s an eight year age gap in between us. Not to mention that you’re basically my family. I looked after you when you were a toddler. I watched you grow up right beside me, helped you grow up. Can’t you see why this is a little bit wrong in my eyes?”

“So you don’t want to like me because I’m younger than you?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think that I, being the object of your affections, should have at least some say in what I find wrong or right about a man liking me? It’s not like I’m barely 18. And you aren’t 50. You aren’t that old, Poe. And I’m not that young. Eight years, in the scheme of things, is nothing. Heck, my parents are 10 years apart. Don’t you think that I have some sort of reaction to finding out you like me?”

Poe squeezed his eyes shut. “22 definitely still counts as young.”

“Poe Dameron. Look at me right now.”

He slowly opened his eyes to meet her hazel ones, filled with compassion and wonder and hope and exasperation.

“Poe, I’ve liked you since I was about 11 years old. Do you think it’s wrong for me to have a crush on you?”

“Rey, it’s different and you know it. You had a school-girl crush on your brother’s best friend who spent time with you.”

“Doesn’t explain why I thought of you whenever people asked me who I liked as a teenager.”

“Hormones,” he shot back, the excuse sounding pathetic and weak from the moment it left his mouth. Rey’s lips twitched as if she was going to smile, but continued on.

“The jealousy whenever you talked about your girlfriends or posted pictures with them.”

“Not unusual for a little sibling to feel jealous of the person taking away their big sibling’s time.”

Rey cocked an eyebrow. “Sibling, huh? Well then you’ll be disappointed to know that I don’t see you as a sibling. At all. So now that _you’ve_ tried to explain away _my_ feelings for you, how are you going to explain the fact that I still have a ‘crush’ on you? Even though I know it’s not just a crush anymore?”

Poe groaned, covering his face with his hands as he sat on one of the couches in the waiting room. “Why are you making this so hard for me?” his muffled question came.

Rey sat down beside him. “Because Poe, I love you and you just told me that you love me too but have been trying to convince yourself otherwise for a year now and are still trying to convince yourself at the moment, even though you know that I love you now.”

“It’s wrong.”

“By whose standards?” she demanded, taking is hands away from his face and leaning towards him.

“By everyone’s!”

“Not mine,” she said, leaning back out, shaking her head. “Not my standards.”

He looked at her, then at their joined hands.

“You’re okay with being in love with a guy my age?”

“Yes, Poe. I really am. I have been for three years. But if you don’t want this, if you think this is wrong, then I can’t make you believe anything other than that. A relationship takes two people’s thoughts and opinions and if this isn’t okay with you then it would never work.” Rey took her hands out of his and stood up. “I’m not apologizing to you because of how I feel. That’s not who I am. I’m just sorry that I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I made us weird and awkward, but that isn’t us. Now that everything’s out in the open, can we just try to go back to normal?”

Even as the words fell out of her mouth, Rey didn’t know what ‘normal’ was anymore, but she knew they would never be the same. The thought of losing Poe’s friendship caused a lump in her throat to form, and before he could answer, she turned on her heel, grabbed her bag, and hurried out the front door into the icy winds that told of a harsh winter to come.

She hadn’t even gotten past the shop’s sign before the door open and Poe’s sprinting footsteps approached rapidly after her. She turned around just in time for Poe’s arms to wrap around her and his mouth to crash down on hers. She sighed into the kiss and reached up to twine her fingers in his dark hair, unaware that they were moving until her back hit the wall of the shop.

For a few minutes, all she knew was Poe. Poe’s lips, Poe’s hair, Poe’s arms bracketing her body, Poe’s thumbs stroking her cheek – everything was Poe. And then they broke apart, breathing hard, and Rey looked up at him, flushed.

“Wow. How did that change of mind come around?”

Poe smiled at her, brushing her hair out of her face. “I realized the standards I was going by weren’t my own, and that me loving you is totally okay ok by me.”

“Good enough for me,” Rey said with a smile, bringing her head in closer, intending on kissing him again, when a car horn made them both whip around.

“As much as I appreciate you making out with my sister in public, maybe you should check your phones before someone calls the police. You two were due at dinner 30 minutes ago,” Ben called from the window, smirk apparent on his face.

Rey took out her phone and made a face when she saw all the missed messages and the time.

“Sorry Ben, we got a bit caught up,” she called.

“Well, catch up later, because now I need to talk with Poe and you’re both due at the table in t minus ten minutes.”

They watched him drive off before smiling at each other and walking towards his car.

There’d be a lot of explaining to do tonight.


End file.
